Being Grateful for What Is…
I have been so grateful for my life over the last few months and I’ve let everyone know it. When I am in a good place – it’s easy to talk about gratitude. I’ve been writing about gratitude and encouraging others to live in gratitude. And I should have known that I’d be tested. It doesn’t matter what I teach or write about – I’m always called to live it and get real with it. I love and hate that about my job. I love it because I’m passionate about growing into my full potential. I hate it because it’s uncomfortable.
It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. It’s fun to be in a good place and to have the world going my way. And yet what happens when things don’t go my way? Am I still grateful or do I step into fear and negativity? That for me is where the rubber meets the road.
I have had some disappointments and some health issues over the last month. Things have not gone as planned. Instead of being grateful for what I had – I found myself wishing for what I wanted and stepping into fear and insecurity. It felt gross. I was in a puddle of self pity and no one wanted to be around me. To tell you the truth – I didn’t want to be around me.
What happened? How could I go from being filled with gratitude and joy to being in a place of fear and worry? What happened is – I stopped taking care of me. I got too busy. And in doing so I get off track. I can stay in a place of gratitude when I take care of myself. If I sleep well, eat well, exercise and take time with God every day I can handle anything that my life and business throws my way. Yet when I stop doing anyone one of those things for too many days in a row – I get funky. I regress into unhealthy behaviors. And then the self pity comes roaring in.
I don’t always see the self pity right away. Or if I do see it I try to ignore it. Because once I see it I am responsible for it. The first step in overcoming anything is awareness. The second step is to commit to changing it. I was aware of my behavior but I still sat in the funk for a few days. Then the funk got old – I know better then this. I have spent my life trying to leave destructive behaviors behind and there I was choosing to stay in it. It was gross.
But gross was what I needed. I needed to feel uncomfortable. I needed it to hurt. And once it was uncomfortable enough I made a decision to step out of it.
I am grateful today for the good times and I am learning to appreciate the down times. Without life’s challenges I would not grow. I would not be pushed to get out of myself and into the solution. So for that reason I am grateful for the times when I feel “funky.”
What are you grateful for today?