During our time together we talked about the value of setting BHAG’s – BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOALS. The word BHAG was coined by James Collins and Jerry Porras in their book “Built to Last”. According to Collins and Porras, “A BHAG engages people – it reaches out and grabs them in the gut. It is tangible, energizing, highly focused. People ‘get it’ right away; it takes little or no explanation.” A BHAG is different from traditional goals and objectives in that they are way bigger. BHAGS are emotional, BIG, long-term and outside our comfort zone.

I challenged each woman to email me their BHAG for a chance to win a FREE coaching session. I was overwhelmed by the response. These women emailed me before I even left the venue. And in their emails, I heard, actually felt their excitement and passion for their BHAG. I was pumped up just reading what they wrote.

Do you have a BHAG – a BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOAL? If you do, I challenge you to share it with someone. There is power in sharing our BIG goals out loud. When we own our goals and ask for help in achieving them they have a better chance of happening. Things kept secret are easily left undone. So share your BHAG, ask for help in achieving it and use it to inspire others to get their own.

If you do not yet have a BHAG for 2013 – NOW is the time. Do not wait another day. Sit down and write it down right now! Send it to me, share it with a friend, shout it from the mountain top – just do it. BHAG’s inspire us, they challenge us, they make our lives more meaningful.

Recognize

Stop. When you begin to compare – stop and think of something else. Even tell yourself out loud that you’re not going to compare yourself to anyone else.

Get accountable. Ask your friends to hold you accountable. When they hear you comparing yourself to others – ask them to call you on it. Ask them to stand with you in not comparing.

Be honest. Be honest with your areas of struggle. By being honest with who you are you automatically become more approachable.  The more honest you are the better able you are to see yourself and your family.

Accept. Accept yourself and others right now. Accept your imperfections, your strengths and your weaknesses just as they are. You’re not perfect and never will be. Self acceptance is an important piece of living and building a healthy life.

Be grateful. Focus on being grateful for what you have, who you are and for the gifts you have in your life. Gratitude is the best defense against getting caught up in comparing ourselves to others.

Celebrate with others. When something good happens to someone else – be excited for them. Celebrate with them. By celebrating the good things other people are experiencing – you can take a step back and be truly happy for them.

Take time this week to listen to your thoughts. Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you measuring yourself by what others do? I think Bernard Grasset sums it up when he said, “To love is to stop comparing.” Take time this week to love more, love often and love without comparison.

People compete with one another every day. I hear business owners comparing themselves to their competitors. I hear executives holding themselves up to someone else’s standards. And I hear parents talking about how amazing their kids are and what they are doing that others are not. Many of our conversations are spoken in a spirit of competition either out of insecurity or fear. As business owners we can get caught up in comparing ourselves to others in our field. As parents we can get caught up in comparing ourselves and our family to those around us. As employees we can get caught up focusing on what others have or don’t have instead of minding our own business.

Comparing ourselves to others isn’t productive. Comparing our business to someone else’s is fruitless. Comparing our family to other families is dangerous. Comparing what we have with what others have leads to discontentment and/or pride – neither of these emotions brings any benefit in the long term.

If we compare ourselves to others and come up short – we get jealous and begin to feel discontent with our own life. When we think others have it all together – we set ourselves up for feeling less than. Feeling less than leads to isolation, guilt and feelings of unworthiness.

If we compare ourselves to others and come up better than they are – we fall into pride and grandiose behavior. When we think we’re better than or have it all – we push others away. Again this isolates us and we set ourselves up for being lonely and unapproachable.

In order to live a life of gratitude – we must stop comparing ourselves to others. We must stop comparing our business to the one down the street, our kids to other kids and our success to the success others have. What we have is what we have and it’s up to us to make the best of it. Our business is ours, our family is ours, our life is the only one we can change or impact. We cannot be someone else. We cannot have what they have. And when we accept that and embrace the life we have, the opportunities we have and the success we have – we can be content.

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. It’s fun to be in a good place and to have the world going my way. And yet what happens when things don’t go my way? Am I still grateful or do I step into fear and negativity? That for me is where the rubber meets the road.

I have had  some disappointments and some health issues over the last month. Things have not gone as planned. Instead of being grateful for what I had – I found myself wishing for what I wanted and stepping into fear and insecurity. It felt gross. I was in a puddle of self pity and no one wanted to be around me. To tell you the truth – I didn’t want to be around me.

What happened? How could I go from being filled with gratitude and joy to being in a place of fear and worry? What happened is – I stopped taking care of me. I got too busy. And in doing so I get off track. I can stay in a place of gratitude when I take care of myself. If I sleep well, eat well, exercise and take time with God every day I can handle anything that my life and business throws my way. Yet when I stop doing anyone one of those things for too many days in a row – I get funky. I regress into unhealthy behaviors. And then the self pity comes roaring in.

I don’t always see the self pity right away. Or if I do see it I try to ignore it. Because once I see it I am responsible for it. The first step in overcoming anything is awareness. The second step is to commit to changing it. I was aware of my behavior but I still sat in the funk for a few days. Then the funk got old – I know better then this. I have spent my life trying to leave destructive behaviors behind and there I was choosing to stay in it. It was gross.

But gross was what I needed. I needed to feel uncomfortable. I needed it to hurt. And once it was uncomfortable enough I made a decision to step out of it.

I am grateful today for the good times and I am learning to appreciate the down times. Without life’s  challenges I would not grow. I would not be pushed to get out of myself and into the solution. So for that reason I am grateful for the times when I feel “funky.”

What are you grateful for today?

What is an entrepreneurial mindset?

*the mindset that takes you from mediocre to remarkable
*the mindset that allows you to take smart risks, thrive in ambiguity and bounce back from failure
*the mindset that allows you to create something from nothing

The entrepreneurial mindset includes (but is not limited) to the following:

1. Creative thinking. Entrepreneurs see things differently. They have the ability to turn things over, look for new solutions and see new ways of doing things. And they constantly ask themselves if there is a way to do it different or better?

2. Action Takers. Entrepreneurs do not blame others. They repeatedly take responsibility for their own success. They don’t have time or feel it necessary to make excuses or to blame others.

3. Risk Taker. Entrepreneurs feel fear but they push through it and do it anyways. And they do it over and over again.

4. Flexibility. Entrepreneurs are comfortable with change. They roll with chaos and uncertainty and just keep moving. Being flexible and staying open keeps them in forward motion.

5. Passion. Entrepreneurs do what they do because they LOVE it. They are driven by passion. The money is nice but most of the time they are being led by a higher calling. Not only do entrepreneurs have high doses of passion – they share that passion and inspire other with it.

6. Self Awareness. Entrepreneurs know themselves and continually strive to grow themselves. They are able to intuitively hire in the areas they are weak and they lead in their areas of strength. 

7. Confidence. Entrepreneurs are comfortable in their own skin. They believe in their ideas, their team and themselves. Being confident helps them to focus on the issues at hand – not on their own issues.

What would our business world be like if we all thought more like entrepreneurs? What if we were more creative in our thinking? What if we took MORE responsibility for our work, for our relationships, for our own growth? How different would life look if we took risks and tried new things? What could we accomplish if we pushed through our fears and fully embraced our strengths?

Make self care a PRIORITY

Say NO. Often the reason we have no bumpers is that we have said ‘yes’ to too many things. Learning to say ‘NO’ is the best gift we can give ourselves. And remember ‘NO’ is a  full sentence.

Ask for help. The truth is well all need help – it’s NOT a sign of weakness. Asking can be tough in the beginning but it gets easier and it does help our load gets lighter.

Know your own limits. We all have different limits, energy levels and are in different seasons of our lives. Take stock of where you are in life and what your needs are – then plan accordingly.

Be realistic. Set realistic expectations of yourself and others. When we push too hard and too fast we will burn through the bumpers we create.

Get out of the office. Take a walk, take a vacation, go explore – just get out. A change of scenery on a regular basis can help us to add to our buffer zone.

Connect. Connect with God, yourself and other people. Connecting with others is a powerful tool for keeping our tank full.

I should have trusted my instincts and just stayed in bed all day. Yet that felt way too ‘lazy’. So instead I got up and went out in the world. That was a bad idea. I am sorry if I ran into you last Monday. I was yelling at slow drivers, complaining about my day and scowling as I encountered people on the street. I was on empty and I knew it.

I had given too much without recharging. Over the last month, I spoke, mentored, volunteered, worked and studied. I did and did and did. I got a lot accomplished but I didn’t take time to refuel. I had let exercise, healthy eating and my morning quiet time slip. I was too ‘busy’ to take the time I needed to take each day to refuel and recharge. And I know that is a HUGE mistake – it never turns out well. So it was no surprise when I crashed let week. The worst part was I knew it was coming but didn’t take the time to stop it til I had to.

I need bumpers in my life. Cars have bumpers to protect the driver and the cars. Babies have bumpers in their cribs to keep them from hurting themselves. And many sharp objects also have a bumper of some sort or another to protect the object and/or the user. A bumper is really a buffer. It keeps the thing and the outside world safe from one another. I believe we need bumpers as human beings – emotional, physical and spiritual reserves that keep us from hurting ourselves and/or others.

I had run myself too hard for too many day in a row and in doing so I burned right through my bumpers. Thus I was no longer protected and the outside world was in trouble.

To expand my bumpers I need to slow down, take time to refuel, practice self care and rest. When I practice self care on a regular basis – I build up my bumpers. That way when I have a day or two of busyness – I have enough buffer to make it through. I get in trouble when I begin burning through my bumper and then I keep going. That’s a danger zone. With no bumpers I’m edgy, cranky, not creative and ineffective. I make mistakes, stuff falls through the cracks and I just do not perform at the level I know I am capable of.

Start Up Weekend Portland Maine

If you EVER have the opportunity to attend a Start Up Weekend anywhere in the world – GO!!! I guarantee, if you attend with an open mind, it will change your life and your business. You’ll be challenged (sometimes pushed) to get out of your comfort zone, you’ll be inspired and you’ll learn what it really takes to get a business idea ready to go to market. This is one of the best events for entrepreneurs I’ve ever been part of.

What I Learned at Start Up Weekend Portland, ME:

1.We only grow when we step out of our comfort zone. Their were 45 people who pitched ideas Friday night – many of whom had never pitched a business idea in their life. Yet they did it. They stepped up to the plate and shared their idea. Whether their idea won or not – they grew as the result of stepping out.

2. People truly do want to help. I was blown away by the amount of help we had. We had more volunteers than we needed. The people who showed not only gave their time – they gave  their talents and expertise freely and without expectation of anything in return.

3. There is not one right way to do anything. Each group and each idea took on a life of it’s own over the weekend. Teams tried on many ideas and sometimes instead of finding the best choice – they just had to choose one.

4. Things happen quicker when you ask for help. Each and every person in attendance this weekend more than likely has the skills to start their own business by themselves  Yet when they came together as a team of experts for a solid weekend – they produced results far greater than anything they could have accomplished alone. It really is good to ask for help.

5. Conflict is part of life. I watched teams struggle, individuals get frustrated and some even walked away. Yet that’s life. When we work with people – there will be conflict. It’s unavoidable. Success comes only when we are willing to deal with and walk through conflict.

6. You will not always win. But does it matter? I don’t believe winning is the most important thing. I believe each and every team could start the business they worked on this weekend right now. Winning or losing isn’t the important thing – it’s what the team did Monday morning that counts. Continued action and persistence are more important that a trophy.

7. Creating a business is fun. When people share their ideas and/or work on creating a new business there’s lots of POSITIVE ENERGY. It’s exciting, challenging and can be all-consuming. What would happen to our world if could take that same energy and apply it to the problems we face each day? I believe we would be unstoppable.

Here is the website for this past weekend’s event: http://portlandmaine.startupweekend.org/

If you were at the event this weekend, what did you learn?

I used to think asking for help was a sign of weakness. I thought I had to be superwoman and do it all by myself. I grew up thinking that I could do it all and I didn’t need anyone else. I was fiercely independent and extremely stubborn. Asking for help was not part of my life.

I was convinced I didn’t need help from anyone. Then I moved out into the real world and quickly learned that it was impossible to do life all on my own. As a young single parent I quickly realized I needed help. I had to accept help from many sources. I hated it. I did not like asking for or receiving help of any kind. I felt weak and yet I could not physically, financially or emotionally do it on my own.

During those years, a social worker told me that only the truly wise and only the truly strong ask for help. I didn’t really understand what she meant back then but today I do. Today I know that it takes strength and wisdom to ask for help. Today I know that when I ask others for help I become stronger and wiser.

We’re not meant to do life alone – not in business and not in our personal lives. We need others. We need their knowledge, their support, their love and their money. In business won’t survive without customers – without their money and their support. In our personal life won’t survive without love and support from others. We all need help.

I challenge you to take time this month to ask for and receive help from someone else. If you’re struggle with asking, think about how you feel when you help someone else. I love helping others – it feels great. Now think about how someone else feels when they help you. Letting others help us is really a way to bless other people.

Ask for help – you are worth it!

My mission in life is to be a cheerleader of people – to make a positive impact in my world each and every day. It’s simple and profound. My mission is personal, it’s meaningful and motivating. Being a cheerleader of people brings a strong visual to my mind each and every time I think of it. I use this visual often, it gives me clarity in my decision making. The concept of making a positive difference each and every day guides me into making the right decisions at the right time. I am mission-obsessed.

What is your mission? Why are you here? What difference does your life make? If you cannot answer those questions – you have some work to do. We ALL need a mi
Take time right now to review your life mission. Is it accurate? Do you need to update it? Or do you need to sit down and actually write one?ssion. We need to know why we exist and what purpose we serve. In other words – to fully live and to be unstoppable we need a mission – a powerful, motivating mission that guides our lives every day.

No matter where you’re at in your life or your career – you can and will benefit from having a mission. Take time today to become more mission-obsessed!